When You Want Less Stuff But Want The Stuff You Have
Today we are talking about the tension we can feel when we begin decluttering, wanting to have less stuff in our space, but when it comes down to it, we also want to keep the stuff we have. How do we work through that so that we can have less stuff and the peace that comes with that?
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IT’S HARD TO LET THINGS GO
Mentally, we know we have to let things go, but translating that into going through item by item and actually decluttering is hard. If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t have so many people giving tips, offering courses, or even creating a podcast with decluttering motivation and inspiration!
THINGS COME IN REGULARLY
We live in a society where things are regularly coming into our home. That’s a good thing! We need to bring in foods to replace what we’ve eaten. The things we have don’t last forever. This is true with even our clothing and shoes. Eventually, they’ll get worn out or get holes in them. So bringing in these things that we need is good and necessary.
LOTS OF WIGGLE ROOM
There’s a lot of wiggle room on having the amount of things in our home that we want, and there is really no one right answer.
So while we need to realize that we are going to have to bring things into our home and not let it create tension in us, we also need to balance that with knowing that if things are only coming into our home, without learning the skill of letting go, our homes will quickly become overrun with stuff.
LOW HANGING FRUIT FIRST
Chances are if you want less stuff, but still want the stuff you have, you’ve already gone through and removed the trash, broken things, and the super obvious donations – the low hanging fruit.
But if not, the good news is there is a lot of progress to be made by grabbing that low hanging fruit (trash) and tossing it.
DEFINE THE SPACE YOU’RE WORKING WITH
Start first with defining the space you are working with. Which space do you want to work on first? A shelf? A drawer? A kitchen cabinet? A closet? Decide what that space will be.
MENTALLY PREPARE
It’s important to take a moment to mentally prepare that more stuff is going to have to leave your space if you want less stuff in your space. Seems obvious, right? But it can be easy to begin decluttering and slip into the mindset of “Oh, no, I want to keep this thing” and “No, I can’t get rid of that thing.”
Remember you are looking for things to leave your space. When you find those things that can go, that is success.
SIT DOWN AND VISUALIZE
It might be helpful to find a quiet spot to sit for just a minute, close your eyes, and imagine what your space will look like. What would it look like if the counter tops were clear? What would it feel like if your dresser drawers weren’t overstuffed and you could easily find what you wanted to wear?
WRITE DOWN YOUR VISION
If you prefer writing things down, write down that vision in your head of what your space will look like. How will it make you feel? What can you do to get there?
THE “NO BRAINERS” TO KEEP
After you’ve selected your small space to declutter, take all the things out of that space and as you go through them ask yourself if it’s something you want to keep or let go. This is going to help you discover which things are a no brainer- an absolute must keep.
If you’ve been through this space before, you’re thinking “okay, but I want to keep everything in this space.” But is everything an absolute keeper or are some things more of a “I think I should keep that?”
YOU AREN’T GETTING RID OF EVERYTHING ELSE
If you are thinking I’m going to tell you that everything that isn’t an absolute “yes” has to go, that’s not at all what I’m telling you. This process is to help you know what the possible candidates are for something to get rid of, because we already said we wanted less stuff in our space, right?
PUT THE OBVIOUS KEEPS AWAY
Anything that was a no brainer for keeping will now be put away to get it out of site and out of mind. So, if you are decluttering your desk, your cell phone and planner would be obvious keeps so let’s put them away. Now you are left with all the things we were a little less excited about saying “yes” to.
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE REST
Begin going through these things and asking yourself why you are keeping them. Remember we are looking for things to get rid of, so it’s a success when we find something that we are okay with letting go.
JUST IN CASE ITEMS
Which of your items are you keeping “just in case?” You may want to start a pile for everything that falls into this category. These may be things such as kitchen gadgets that we use maybe a couple of times a year.
ITEMS WE FEEL COMPELLED TO KEEP
Are any of your items things that you feel compelled to keep? Maybe it was a gift or something you paid a lot of money for? Put all of these things into their own pile as well.
ADDRESSING “JUST IN CASE” ITEMS
As we look through these items we are keeping “just in case” think about the 20/20 rule. There are many variations, but essentially if you can replace the item for $20 in 20 minutes, maybe it’s something you can pass on. You of course can set your own threshold.
This isn’t being wasteful, but is allowing you to release the fear of “what if I need it someday.” If you think about it, if you got rid of your pineapple corer/slicer, but later bought a pineapple, you’d probably just grab a knife, right?
If you suddenly began eating a ton of pineapple and decided you couldn’t stand the thought of using a knife, you can replace the corer/slicer when you decide you need it. But right now, you are placing more value on having less things in your home, so you are letting the gadget go.
MOST THINGS WON’T BE REPLACED
If you’re thinking you need to set aside $20 for everything you are letting go, you don’t need to do that. You’ll find that the majority of the things you get rid of you will never need or want to replace.
But when the nagging doubt comes to mind, it’s okay because you know you can replace it easily.
EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT
Of course the answers will be different for everyone. Remember we are talking about just in case items. If you were using something on a regular basis, it most likely would have ended up in your “absolute yes” category.
You will probably have some of these “just in case” items go back into the drawer or cabinet. That’s okay! Just because it wasn’t an “absolute yes” doesn't mean we have to get rid of it.
ADDRESSING THE “COMPELLED TO KEEP” ITEMS
Gifts are a often things we feel compelled to keep. Gifts make us feel special and loved and there can be a lot of emotion tied to something that was given to you.
One thing you can do to head off gifts that will become clutter is to offer specific requests or suggestions of what you might like to receive. You might even want to let friends and family know you are trying to declutter and have less in your home.
Options may be to go out to dinner or see a show as their gift to you. Maybe they all go in on one more expensive item instead of each purchasing smaller individual gifts.
GIFTS YOU ALREADY HAVE
So, what do we do with the gifts we already have that we aren’t using and loving?
If you were given the gift years ago, chances are pretty good that the person who gave it to you doesn’t even remember that they gave it to you. So you’re probably safe letting that gift go.
If you received a gift in the mail from someone who lives far away, sometimes you can immediately put it in to the donate pile because most likely they’ll never know or ask about it.
It’s not always cut and dry. Sometimes we just hold on to gifts for a little while until we later feel more confident in letting them go, and that’s perfectly okay.
ITEMS YOU SPENT A LOT ON
Sometimes we spend a lot of money on an item that just doesn’t turn out how we wanted or expected. Maybe someone you know raves about their robot vacuum, but it’s been nothing but a source of stress and frustration for you.
If you are within the return window, by all means, return it and get your money back. But, keeping the item isn’t going to get your money back. The item is no longer serving you and is something you know you would not buy again.
Instead of feeling guilty every time you look at it, face it head on and deal with it once and for all. You’ll be surprised how quickly it becomes out of sight, out of mind.
KEEPING BOXES
Things seem to come in really nice boxes these days. There’s a reason for that. These nice boxes are designed to make you feel good and make a great first impression about the product and the company. But the box already did its job, so it’s okay let it go.
Now, you can repurpose them if you have some organizing projects you think you’ll be able to use them for, but if not, it’s totally okay to get rid of the boxes!
ITEMS THAT TAKE UP SPACE
You may have an item that you use on a regular basis but it sure does take up a lot of space. You may want to consider other options for storage if your kitchen doesn’t have a lot of space.
Do you have a shelf outside the door in the garage that you could put it? Can you put it in a basket on a bookshelf that’s close by? This will especially be helpful if it’s an item you don’t want taking up value real estate in your kitchen.
MAKE A MAYBE PILE
Lastly, you may want to create a maybe pile. Take those things you aren’t sure of and put them in a corner of a closet and see how your space functions without them. Do you miss them? Do you ever go back to them and pull something out?
You may find that six months later it’s easier to get rid of those things. It’s already been in the back of your mind that they were probably going to go.
YOU MAY NEED SYSTEMS
One last reason you might feel like you want less stuff in your home, but you really want the stuff in your home is because you’re ready to move into the step of setting up systems for keeping things tidy and under control. It may be more of a system solution instead of a decluttering solution, and that may be a topic for another podcast!