The Number One Enemy of a Tidy Home
I want my home to be neat, organized, clean, and tidy. I definitely don't want to live in messy, cluttered spaces. In my dreamworld, it's always perfectly clean (okay, let's face it – in dreamworld, I have a full time maid), nothing is ever out of place, and there's not a spec of dust to be found.
However, I'm a reasonable person, and I understand that life happens. There will be crazy days in which the house will be a total disaster, but that should be the exception instead of the norm. We do live in and use our home, so we can't expect it to be magazine worthy.
I'm guessing you feel the same way. So why does the house get out of control more often than I care to admit? The answer may surprise you, but keep reading so I can explain.
I have discovered that (at least for me) the number one enemy of a tidy home is perfectionism. The clean sink challenge has really brought this to light for me. Yes, perfectionism. At first that may seem absurd. Wouldn't a perfectionist have a perfect home? Wouldn't that mean they do every job meticulously and fully? Not necessarily. Let me illustrate:
Do you see that messy counter in the photo above? Here's how the perfectionist would deal with it.
The perfectionist sees the messy counter before heading out the door, and thinks, “I only have five minutes, there's no way I can thoroughly clean all those dishes before I go.” They move on. Finally, they have a chance to tackle it. First, they put the appropriate dishes in the dishwasher. While doing so they notice that somebody has loaded the dishes incorrectly! The bowls are stacked too close together such that they might not get completely clean. Therefore, they have to rearrange the dishes before they can add the new ones. Next they hand wash all the appropriate dishes, carefully inspecting them to make sure that they are completely clean. Then they scrub out the sink, and wipe off all the counters. The whole process took 30 minutes.
The not-so-perfectionist or the recovering perfectionist sees the messy counter before heading out the door, and thinks, “I have five minutes. I can make a lot of progress with this mess.” They immediately open the dishwasher and start adding dirty dishes as fast as they can. There's still a couple minutes left, so they quickly hand wash a few things before they need to leave. When they get home there's just a few dishes left, and it only takes another 5 minutes to complete the job.
The perfectionist tries to wait until just the perfect time to complete the tasks, and then spends a lot more time than necessary. It's far better to do a mundane household chore quickly and get it done rather than waiting until there's enough time to do it thoroughly and so it waits for days.
I have really been learning this principle during the clean sink challenge. I'm usually one of those perfectionists who can't stand it when the bowls in the dishwasher are stacked “too close together.” There, I admitted it! However, I've been determined to get a daily smiley face on my clean sink calendar. Therefore, I've been using little bits of time I have to quickly clean the kitchen, and it's made a huge difference. The kitchen is acceptably clean every morning when I wake up. It's not absolutely perfect – maybe there's a couple items still left out on the counter or once in a while a bowl needs to be washed again, but it's SO much better than waking up to a completely messy kitchen.
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely don't think there's anything wrong with being a perfectionist in and of itself. There are many cases in which it good to be meticulous and careful.
What do you think? Do you tend to let perfectionism slow you down?
Hannah A. Says
Laura,
Thank you SO much for this post! I’m the kind of perfectionist that you mentioned at the beginning–the one who won’t do a task because she can’t get it completely done completely right. I haven’t officially joined the Clean Sink Challenge, but the principle of it has been motivating me to do what I can, when I can.
Thanks for the encouragement!
LauraJane Says
Post authorSo glad it was helpful to you. I definitely understand.
Laura Says
I really struggle with this perfectionist thing especially now that i am older and full of arthritis impairments.
debb lavoie Says
No, not me 🙂 I m the person that lets stuff pile up and then has to tackle the mess. 😉 I have tackled under my bathroom sink, with help, and my medication drawer. Looks good 🙂
Love your printables and your atitude 🙂
LauraJane Says
Post authorSo glad you’ve been able to tackle so much!
Tracy S Says
That is very me. And it’s something that I realized a long time ago. I’m better about recognizing my perfectionism for what it is but still have a long way to go. The clean sink challenge has helped along with doing Money Saving Mom’s Make Over Your Morning course. The coincided beautifully. 🙂
LauraJane Says
Post authorSo glad the challenge is helping. I have the Make Over Your Mornings course, but haven’t had a chance to dive in yet. I’m glad to hear it was helpful.
Dee Says
Oh so guilty!!!! this totally describes my problem… Gotta work on it!
Katy Says
Perfectionism is definitely my main problem, but my husband sees the mess and just finds a “corner to start from” and will only clean that one spot until he can spread the tidiness a bit at a time. I try to block out huge chunks of time for major projects and get caught up in details. Ugh.
LauraJane Says
Post authorMy husband is much better than me about just diving in and tackling a mess.
Sarah Mueller Says
You are so right, Laura! I love how a change in mindset can completely turn around a messy situation. Sharing with my friends on Facebook. 🙂 Have a great day!
LauraJane Says
Post authorThanks. Yes, mindset does make a big difference.
Darlene Says
I have just moved, so I’m living in a world of boxes piled here, there and all over. But it is a good chance to make sure that I am organized in the end. I am going to have to be very organized because we have moved into a much smaller space than we were in. As for the current challenge, I’ve been keeping up, except for last night because my back was done by mid-afternoon.
LauraJane Says
Post authorWay to go keeping up with the challenge!
Jacquie J Says
Perfectionism carries it’s own demons. I love to sew, but cannot release my mind to sit and sew when there are dishes to be done, beds to be made or dust to be moved around. I have always been that way and at 66 years old will probably be that way till the end. I married a man who believes someone will come and pick up behind him and leaves everything he touches right where it lands. So I get up real early to get a head start on my chores and try to sit down and sew in the heat of the afternoon. (No gardening when it is over 100 degrees.) I wish I could let my mind go and enjoy my favorite hobby. I would probably make more sewn articles and bask in the praise of my family and friends, and be happier. Ha, ha!
LauraJane Says
Post authorSo true.
Nadia Says
It only just occured to me, from reading this post, that my perfectionism really is the biggest reason that I can’t keep up with the housework! How ever confusing it does sound haha. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I would really like some tips on how to let go of the perfectionism…
Best wishes, Nadia
LauraJane Says
Post authorGlad you can relate. It is hard to let go of, but it is possible. Just being aware of it has really helped me. Also making myself do things quickly. Sometimes I give myself 15 minutes and pretend like company is coming, and do whatever I do if company really were coming. It forces me to do only the most important things, instead of getting bogged down perfecting everything.
Nadia Says
Thank you very much! Helpful tips that I will definitely try out 🙂
Liesl Says
Perfectionist… That’s me! The idea of doing something only part way and not perfectly does my head in… Lol. I call my husband “Mr 75%” and my daughter “Halfa” as to me they never finish or do things ‘properly’. So maybe it is my attitude that is the problem not their near enough is good enough approach. Must remind myself that my perfectionism is the cause of an untidy sink not my laid back family! Still might need therapy to get past this one *giggles*
LauraJane Says
Post authorI understand.
Kat Says
I completely agree with this! I have been really sick with debilitating morning sickness (called Hyperemesis Gravidarum) and the thought of doing some of those simple task is exhausting. I think “that will take ages to do” because I want it done perfectly, completely and right. But I’ve learned that if I can just do a bit, or break up the task a bit more, it’s more likely to get done than if I think about doing it “the perfect way”.
LauraJane Says
Post authorSounds rough. Great attitude – just doing a bit at a time, things can get done.
Tina Says
YES!! Oh my god, tell me about it! You should see my office, if I could post a pic, I would. I have PILES of paperwork to be filed, but I don’t like my current filing system, so I keep putting it off until I have time to organise my system first. Photos, I have a gazillion photos on my computer, and I have been meaning to make yearly photo books for my girls. My eldest is now 5 – not one book… Because the though of trawling through my unorganised photos is scary and I imagine each book will take me days, weeks even!! So I just keep uploading more photos onto my computer, in the hopes that one day, I’ll have a few spare days to organise myself..
Sigh.
LauraJane Says
Post authorI totally understand. I have a a basket of papers waiting because I want to redo my file system, and I barely have any photo pages put together for my daughter because I’m waiting to get a system worked out.
Tina Says
It’s a disease, a REAL disease people!
Chautona Says
This describes me so perfectly it isn’t even funny. Even as a kid, my parents would say, “Go clean your room.” By that they meant, “Go change your sheets, pick up stuff that is lying around and put it away. Vacuum. Maybe dust.”
But I’d go in there and try it. I’d pick up a jacket lying over my little blue loveseat and move to the closet to hang it. But the clothes there were hanging cockeyed or were mixed with pants and shirts or dresses and coats–anything not in a nice order. I MIGHT be able just to rearrange those hangers really quickly, but the next item–perhaps a puzzle–would send me back. And the top shelf would have stuff shoved up there willy nilly by someone other than me (because if I couldn’t put it away perfectly, I didn’t put it away! that makes more sense you know… *cough*) So, I’d pull every single item from the closet, regroup everything into perfect little piles–ones that made visual pleasing sense rather than usage sense–and put them all back. Now I could put anything that belonged in there away in only 3 minutes (time to rearrange for visual pleasure) instead of 30.
It went that way for every single thing in the room. My desk. My dresser. My bookshelf. I couldn’t just put my book away on the shelf. Noooooo I had to rearrange them alphabetically or tallest to smallest–whatever.
What would have been a 15 minute job would take me all day and is why I hated the words, “go clean your room.”
My parents took forever to figure out what took me so long. They thought I went up there and goofed around–procrastinated to avoid doing the work. Once Mom figured it out, she let me keep doing it because “if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”
Well… To this day, I have a hard time just clearing a counter or sorting clothes in a closet. She meant well, but it’s one of the rare areas that Mom didn’t help me improve my natural messed up thought/action processes.
LauraJane Says
Post authorI understand. I think there’s a balance. It’s good to do a job well, but it can become a hindrance if every job takes forever.
Berniek Says
Oh wow you get me. This is me. I’m the kind of person that has stuff laying around everywhere making me frustrated. But if I have to I can get the whole house looking ok in about half an hour. But I don’t because I want to properly tackle this problem by re-organizing basically my whole house. Which I don’t do. Sigh.
LauraJane Says
Post authorTotally understand!
Josefin Says
Wow! I’ve read about this before, that the problem is the perfectionism, but no one ever explained it so I didn’t understand it. (Because of course perfectionism couldn’t be the problem when it’s so ‘obviously’ the solution. Right!?) Thank you for explaining this!
I only just found your blog today, via Etsy, and I’m staying! 🙂
So inspiring! Thank you!
Julie Jordao Says
I just stumbled upon your instagram account and hopped over to your blog. Love your simple, no-nonsense way to handle organization! I had actually NEVER considered me being a perfectionist being the root of my problem keeping an organized house, but you are SO right! Thanks for posting!
LauraJane Says
Post authorSo glad you found it helpful!
Karen C Says
Hi! I was reading my email from “Just a Girl and Her Blog” and she mentioned a project you and she are working on together. I got curious and started looking around your blog. Nice! This post really struck home with me! I have some health issues and that nasty disease, perfectionism, haunts me as well! When I look around my house, I get so discouraged and hope that no one from “Hoarders” is nearby. My intentions are good! Really! I have containers and lists, plans and ideas. When I have a less-pain day and get all ambitious, I don’t know where to start. And it seems like everything overlaps! I could put those bills away, but my filing system needs to be fixed first. My filing system could be fixed, but then I’d have to move boxes to get to it. I could move the boxes to the guest room, but then I’d have to organize the crafts that were started and put in there when company came over! And on, and on…lol!! Between you and Abby, there may be hope yet! I have been making the bed in the morning, so I have at least one thing accomplished. I am working on keeping less paper, and following through with the kids to get them to help. (I tend to avoid the confrontation. 😛 ) Now I recognize that I am letting perfectionism keep me from starting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I’ll be back.
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K Says
wow! I think I just saw myself and now have a name for it.
Beth Says
Some times perfectionism is actually ADD/ADHD in disguise. I’ve learned the hard way, I wasn’t diagnosed to till I was almost 42 and struggled my whole life with situations like this. Articles like this help me to see where my ADD brain is holding me back, so thank you for writing it. I will remind myself that the ADD doesn’t need to hold me back and doing it in perfection is not the only way. 😀
Carolyn Says
Oh how well you know me!
I am trying to take the “15 minute” approach, and do what I can in that amount of time a few times per day and BE HAPPY I did that much!!! Instead of the “when I have enough time to do it right” approach!!!
Sophia Says
This is such a great post! I am one of the not-so-perfectionists, but I do like things neat. However, I bomber thought that perfectionist people might not have the perfectly neat home! Thanks for sharing!
Jessica Says
It certainly slows me down/blocks me for certain aspects, but I manage to switch my perfectionism goal from getting one single thing done perfectly, to considering perfection is reached for me when I’m done with my daily chores (no dirty dishes, no laundry lying around), thereby focusing on efficiency, rather than the method. I used to only wash dishes when I could do it without interruption from one end to the other, now I just start, interrupt when I have to, get back to it when I can again, I’m struggling on the less important things for daily life, like tackling book collections, photos, post cards, my stamp collection. Maybe because there are too many feelings involved.
Joy @ TheCafeScholar Says
One thing that helps me – though I have to work at being consistent – is the way I do my nightly routine. I don’t say “clean room” even though that is the goal. I have a few things listed: gather dishes, put away clothes, dump trash. These are all tasks that can be done in just a few minutes, and I can feel accomplished when I check one off the list. And if I can’t get it all done, then I pick one and feel good about [dumping the trash, etc.].